The Secret of NIMH Drinking Game.

Well look what I found digging around in my text archives! This is actually from 2000, the last time I was on a real NIMH "kick." Enjoy!

----------

The Secret of NIMH Drinking Game
(Because love and beer is still the key)

Let me explain. “The Secret of NIMH,” released waaaaay back in 1982, when most of us reading this were wee little tots, marked THE significant event in modern animation. It was and remains the greatest animated film ever made, catapulting beyond anything Disney or its pretenders have ever produced. Unfortunately, roses bloom for brief time spans, and alas, Don Bluth shot his creative wad into SoN, and has not produced a movie of this caliber ever since. However, even though this movie is almost two decades old, it still enjoys a tremendous fan following, possibly the largest of any animated movie (except maybe The Lion King, but Disney can rot in hell for eternity, and Mickey’s ears hide long, pointy hornsli). Certainly such a beautiful and sweeping movie deserves its own drinking game, yes? Okay, okay, so it deserves MUCH more than that, but the very fact that we are able to treat it casually, like a member of the family, shows what a dear friend this movie is to us.

For all those who have not seen SoN (i.e. those living under a large, boring rock since 1980), let me provide a brief plot synopsis. Ahem. A (cute as hell) female mouse known as Mrs. Brisby finds herself widowed when her husband, Jonathan, is killed in a rather nasty run in with the farmer Fitzgibbon’s cat, Dragon. After running into Jeremy (the comic relief crow), she nearly becomes dinner for the butt-ugly Dragon. She then fights to save her family and sick son from Farmer Fitzgibbon’s plow. In order to prevent them from becoming fertilizer, she goes to see The Great Owl, who tells her to go see the Rats, so that they can move her house. She does so, meets one Nicodemus, who then tells her of the beginning of the rats’ civilization. After what is arguably the longest single monologue for animal rights in any film, Nicodemus gives her a magical, (sparkly!) ruby necklace worth more than most honest people can afford, and leaves with Mrs. B and Justin (ol’ featherhead!) to prepare for the move that night. First, though, we overhear Jenner (Mr. Congeniality) discussing a plan to kill Nicky and stop the plan to move to Thorn Valley (“It’s wrong to steal electricity from Farmer Fitzgibbons”…does Justin think Thorn Valley will have outlets in the trees?) Mrs. B, making A Really Stupid Mistake, volunteers to drug the cat so that he won’t wake up and turn everybody into kibble. Of course she gets caught by The Annoying Kid and is thrown in a birdcage. While Jenner prepares to kill Nicodemus, Mrs. B does her best to please the John Woo fans in the audience by escaping, so that she could warn Justin of NIMH’s impending arrival to exterminate the rats. Lots more stuff happens, and if you REALLY haven’t seen the film, I ain’t gonna spoil the ending for you, so there!

liDo you not find it ironic that I should hate one mouse so fervently, and love another (Mrs. Brisby) so dearly? Of course I’ve thought of climactic duels between Mickey Mouse and Mrs. B…who would win? Well, who’s the only one who can telekinetically move mountains? I thought so.

Okay, enough BS. Here’s the game. Only play this if you are of legal drinking age in your state/country. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.


Rules for The Secret of NIMH Drinking Game

Rule #1: You must take a sip of beer every time that Jeremy says “Excuse me, pardon me.”

You would not believe how many times he says this in the film. A real klutz. Think Jar Jar Binks with feathers. That’s why it’s only a sip

Rule #2: You must drink one finger of beerli for every time that Mrs. Brisby tells Jeremy to shut up, or shush, or be quiet, or whatever the hell she says.

This also happens quite a few times. You’d be surprised at how loud Jeremy gets, and at how strong Mrs. Brisby must actually be to hold his beak closed every time. Must be the long hours at Bally’s.

Rule #3: You must drink two fingers of beer for every time that Mrs. Brisby sees her reflection in something.

You’ve really got to pay attention for this one, since there are no audio clues (usually). I hope you ain’t drinking anything TOO strong, because a few of these scenes come rather late in the film, and I’d hate to have people passed out before we even get to the good stuff.

Rule #4: Finally, you must down one half of a glass of beer for every time that Teresa says “Oh, Auntie Shrew!”

If you’ve got anything left, that is. Of course, this one doesn’t occur but a few times, so don’t worry. Feel free to finish whatever you have left during the end credits. Just take a gulp of beer for every time that Paul Williams mentions “love” during the end song. Now I’m SURE you don’t have anything left. J

This game’s rules are by no means complete. Feel free to email your suggestions to me, as I always love talking about this movie, even during a drunken haze. Speaking of which, I wonder how Mrs. Brisby would look plastered…

lia “finger” of beer simply refers to the amount you would drink if you wrapped a finger around a glass of beer from the surface of the beer down; once you reach the bottom of your finger(s), you’re done.

Funny, I have this nagging feeling that I have seen this before on the internet. If I did, it was several years ago. Otherwise I am going even crazier than I already am.

In any case, I cannot play the game yet. I'm still a few months away from being legal.

Funny, I have this nagging feeling that I have seen this before on the internet. If I did, it was several years ago. Otherwise I am going even crazier than I already am.

http://furryhumor.tripod.com/dgame.htm
http://www.drinkiwiki.com/Secret_of_NIMH_Drinking_Game

Damn, someone beat me to it! :P Theirs is better anyway.

I'll play. liTurns on TVli liPuts disc inli liskips annoying previews.li listops at main menuli ligrabs bottle and presses playli "Scuse me! Pardon me!li gulp.
lishush upli gulp liOh Auntie Shrewli ligulp gulp gulp gulp gulp gulp gulp gulp gulpli BUUUUURRRP!!! I'll quit.