GrizzlyCoon
13-06-2006 14:19:33
This is perhaps one of the dumbest things I've ever thought of, but for some reason I can't get it out of my mind.
You're all familiar with Super Smash Bros., aren't you?
...I don't even like Disney, what a horrible avaricious corrupt company, they havn't made anything decent in over a decade, and it's a shame they bought out Pixar, because I know they're just gonna drag Pixar down with their crap.
...but I can't help but think it would be awesome if they made a Super Smash game with their characters. Not any of the new ones, mind you, I'm talking about those badass characters from all their classic movies.
Nintendo's Super Smash Bros. is fun and addictive because of its insanity, its inordinate madness of socking the crap out of someone with uber-powerful godlike action and blowing them off the screen in a subatomic particle explosion, or watching them bump into the tv screen as they fly into the foreground.
...but I got bored of it because the characters are all soooo lame. I mean, what the hell is kirby? What's the fun in fighting a pink animate marshmallow? It was just ridiculous to see them combine realistic human characters (well, not exactly realistic, but at least human) duking it out with retarded nonsensical characters like Kirby, that wierd baloon-headed kid Ness and those annoying ice climbers.
...However, during my childhood I was an avid fan of the classic Disney movies, you know what I'm talking about, those classics based on fairy tales, and when I imagine combining some of their more charismatic characters with the scenario of a fighting game, it seems kinda cool.
How fun would it be to fight as Snow White and beat the crap outta Belle? She could summon her seven dwarfs to attack with pickaxes, and in retaliation Belle would call upon a swarm of angry animate dishwear and home appliances to her aide. In the heat of battle Baloo would horribly Maul Peter Pan, who is such a wuss he'd have to fly around the screen to evade Baloo's powerful punches and call upon his little sissy pixy friend for help. Alice would eat a bunch of pshychadelic mushrooms to make herself gigantic so she can step on the evil witch from sleeping beauty, who can ram people with her horns, and even (with enough attack mana points saved up) can turn into a giant purple dragon. If I had that game I'd play as Merlin, and cast that wizzard blizzard spell to blast Goofy away and watch him fly off the screen into the background with his legendary "WAHOOOHOOHOOO!" yell. Mickey Mouse would be sorry he ever messed with the fairy Godmother, when she transforms him into a horribly deformed and underpaid horse carriage driver, then chunks a huge hexed pumpkin at his face. And when Geston tries using his bigass blunderbuster to blast Bambi away, Bambi can go bipedal and roundhouse kick him in the temple.
Oh, and im campaign mode the boss you have to fight at the end would Michael Eisner, a boss so evil he's destroyed the magic kingdom, turning it into an evil empire of money-making and kidnapped and enslaved all the disney characters to force them to come out of their peaceful retirement to star in horribly insulting b-grade direct-to-video sequels and in slipshod promotional gig cartoons without pay to their original creators' royalties.
...I thought about a Don Bluth Smash Bros. But... well... aside from NIMH, I really don't care that much for anything else he's made. I suppose the NIMH characters, the All Dogs Go to Heaven cast, Dragon's Lair, Space Ace, and maybe (maybe) Anastia have a few good characters that might be fighting game-worthy, but aside from that most of Don Bluth's stuff is dreck, there's just not enough good characters to make a whole game out of. I mean, can you imagine Rock-a-doodle fighting the pebble and the penguin? Yeck.